Watching porn is really a rite of passage for most men. It begins with several visuals, like that proverbial Playboy magazine several friends passes around well before they are old enough to learn what everything means. Eventually a man discovers the visual and aural stimulation of moving video, and that often begins a lifelong love of porn. Actually, the sore penis that results from much too much porn watching might become a man’s first foray into figuring out good penis care.

But when a guy begins to enjoy pleasure with someone outside the screen, he is all too often disappointed by the vast gulf between what porn teaches him and what really happens in the bedroom. For the uninitiated, here are a few things to never actually expect to translate from the screen to the bed room.

1) Perfect bodies. All the participants in a porn video tend to be very young and healthy. And if they aren’t, the video producers use tricks of camera angles and lighting to cover up any flaws. The result may be the belief a woman should look a certain way, and a guy should too. That can definitely result in disappointment in the bedroom.

2) Instant hardness. Men in porn are very rarely observed in a flaccid state. As soon as a woman walks across the screen, they’re hard enough to crush diamonds. The truth is that most porn productions use a ‘fluffer’ – a female whose only job is to get a man hard before he walks onscreen. What appears to be ‘instant’ really is just an illusion.

3) She gets off fast. Ladies in porn seem to feel as if every touch is orgasmic, and they may actually have numerous orgasms throughout one session. The simple truth is very different. Women usually need a very specific kind of stimulation, for much more than just a few seconds, in order to get turned on – much less to get off.

4) Noise, noise, noise! A porn video is filled up with aural stimulation, which is section of why most guys think it’s great so much. And who wouldn’t? The problem is that women aren’t really likely to make noises like that in the sack. Sure, they could be enthusiastic and make some noise, but the sounds in a porn film won’t likely be replicated in the bed room.

5) Money shots. Here’s a fascinating stat: porn actors ejaculate somewhere other than the vagina 81 percent of that time period. More often than not they do it on her body or mostly, her face. The thing is that 80 percent of women in true to life report not liking that one move. So unless she approves beforehand, don’t expect to replicate this.

6) Crazy moves. Remember the ‘fluffer’ and the illusion she creates? A similar thing is true of a female who is able to do wild things in porn, like anal sex without any preparation, or double penetration. In each case, the situation has been prepped and carefully coordinated off-camera. Again, don’t expect to replicate things like this!

Staying ready for the real thing

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